What a beautiful week-end! Gorgeous weather. Family. Friends. Both of our mothers present on Mother's Day. Beautiful Friday night dinner and Saturday amazing kebabs with Israeli salads, home-made mango pickle, and pickled turnip (mehalela) served to 300+ (we only knows this because we ran out of paper plates.) Our hearts swelled as our son took his place at the bimah. The child performed in his inimitable fashion. When it came time for his speech, he discarded the prepared version giving an extemporaneous d'var Torah that even taught me a little something - not that that is the gold standard. Still I was impressed.
Our evening ended with our family and out-of-town friends gathering at our home to visit and celebrate. After havdalah, some of us even got glitter tattoos. Rumor has it, they can last for up to ten days! Next week-end we plan to take all the tween/teen-agers cosmic bowling and then start planning for the next one only eight months away - yikes!
After I gave my speech to our son, many people came up to me and said they would like a copy of what I said. Here are my words of wisdom I shared with my little boy who is no longer little and no longer a "boy." Enjoy!
EliNoam,
today you are a Bar Mitzvah, a turning point in your life where you are leaving
being a child and are now an adult. The work you have put into this week has
been immense. I am sure if you had your druthers you would have much preferred
performing a Shakespearean sonnet for us or played your guitar for a kumzitz around
a fire. But being a man means being counted, and to be counted means to be learned.
Your Torah
reading is Bamidbar where G-d command Moses and Aaron to take a tribe-by-tribe
census in the wilderness. Now you too are counted. In addition to being counted
for minion, you are also the critical third man for Birkat HaMazon. For quite some time, your father has been
anxiously waiting this moment when our family would have a “built-in” mezuman
at our table (he even bought a new suit for the occasion.) EliNoam, you are
our critical third man (at least for the next nine months until Raviv is
counted). Being a man also means you are now accountable to your
community. With three eligible minion
makers at our house, I am sure we will be receiving more emergency phone calls
when the shul is short. Who knew that so many opportunities for mitzvot readily
await you!
The first
pasuk of Bamidbar tells us that Hashem spoke to Moses “in the Wilderness of
Sinai.” What is the significance of knowing this occurred in the wilderness? Several
reasons are discussed. One that G-d spoke to us in a place everyone enjoyed
free access and as such, each of us has an equal share and obligation in the
Torah. Another is that each of us must make ourselves like wilderness (hefker) – humble and aware of our
smallness.
Noam, you
are an amazing kid with a dynamic personality. You are a performer and a
musician. You have never been a quiet kid, so one may think that being humble
might be a challenge for you. I, for one, know you were born in the wilderness
and your brit milah was in the wilderness, so you have that part covered. I
also know you are pensive and introspective, seeking a quiet place in our house
just so you can “think” – very challenging I might add since we are a household
of eight! I know you are an incredibly empathetic person. You make room for so
many in your life and in your heart. When Ilan and Raviv joined our family, you
were the four-year-old child who said, “Thank you for bringing home my brothers.”
In the third
aliyah, the Jews are instructed regarding their camping formation. The
Tabernacle was to be at the center of the encampment. Thank goodness you were
born into a family that loves to go camping. But why are we being given
directions in the Torah for camping? Ramban’s commentary in the Chumash tells
us that the tabernacle was to serve as a permanent substitute for the Heavenly
Presence that rested upon Israel at Sinai. When you set up your camp, be
certain to remember Mt Sinai. Keep the Torah center, and always long for closeness
to HaShem.
You and I were
recently in the car coming home from Shakespeare practice and we were speaking
about how easy it is to slip off the derech (or the path) of Judaism as a
teenager - that there is much in this world that can easily pull your
attentions away and you gave me some sage advice. If you recall you
said, “That is why I plan to hold on with two hands and never let go.”
So the cliff
notes of our advice to you as parents goes like this:
- Welcome to the count! It is an awesome responsibility but we know you are up for the task.
- Remain humble. It will continue to serve you well.
- Keep Torah at the center of your life. (And don’t forget to go camping every so often too.)
- Follow your own advice – hold on to your Judaism with two hands and never let go!
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